revisiting the top 10 list

A couple weeks before I left for Portugal I compiled a list of my top desires and fears. I thought now, since my time is coming to an end, I should revisit that list.....

Top 10 Desires

1. Working with youth cross culturally
1. Although, I haven’t been able to work with youth as much as I would desire, I have  been able to work with them and last week I was given the opportunity to speak to them. It was a real blessing to be able to share with them and also to grow closer to the youth in northern Portugal.
2. Living with nationals
1. When I first arrived in Portugal I was living at the Portuguese Bible Institute. It is a great place to stay for someone who is coming with a team to study a language but for me I wanted to be with Portuguese people. At the institute I wasn’t able to get the kind of close relationship that I wanted with Portuguese people but then it all changed. For the past 2 months I have been able to live with the most amazing Portuguese grandmother, my avó. Through living with her I have had to really push myself to pick up the Portuguese language and now I can understand quite a bit more then I can speak. 
3. Traveling!
1. I haven’t done alot of traveling but I have been able to go into Lisboa tons of times on my own and I did just get back from a week long trip to the northern part of Portugal, which is the most beautiful place I have seen! I can’t wait to move to Portugal and work permanently in the north! 
4. Delicious Coffee
1. I dearly miss my quad 24 oz white americano on the rox but I have been able to find somewhat of a replacement. May I introduce the galão escuro. It is basically a bica, or shot, mixed with warm milk and then steamed together. the “escuro” means dark so mine has a little more coffee and a little less milk.
5. Fado house
1. The fado house was amazing! The atmosphere was perfect! The singing was amazing! It was everything I ever hoped for in a fado house. My mental picture came together perfectly!
6. Seeing old world architecture
1. When I initially thought about this desire I was thinking maybe some old buildings that were a couple hundred years old and had great character to them, never in my wildest dreams did I think that this would include ancient Roman ruins! The contrast of old and new can be seen in so many ways throughout Portugal, especially in the big cities like Lisboa and Porto. Both of these cities have tiny little streets that one car could barely drive up and that is where the old trolleys come in. My first experience with trolleys were in San Francisco where you pay some crazy amount of money to ride the tourist trap through different areas, however, in Lisboa the trolleys are used seriously as a mode of transportation. You could be riding a trolley with elementary school students coming home from school and women with groceries.
7. Learning Portuguese
1. Have I learned Portuguese? Pois....which means sure.....I have been able to learn some Portuguese. I can ride the bus really well and order a galão escuro like a pro! Really though, I have been able to get some Portuguese down pretty well. I can understand alot more Portuguese then I can actually speak. The most important thing is that even when I fail at saying something I don’t quit trying to communicate. Just about every time I try and communicate something to my avó, she replies with, “Não compreendo,” but then I just start from the beginning and try and say it again...she probably thinks I sound like a really bad broken record but I am learning!
8. Eating Portuguese food other then Linguiça and sweet bread
1. Thanks to a cute little cafe at the bottom of my apartment complex I have been able to try lots of different everyday Portuguese meals. The cafe has some sort of lunch that they serve everyday and I usually try and go once a week to have lunch with them there. I have also been able to try many different types of fish dishes, which has been interesting because I am not a huge fish fan but this fish is so fresh it is amazingly delicious!
9. seeing the other Golden Gate Bridge
1. I have seen the bridge and I have even driven across the bridge but, unlike the bridge in San Francisco, you cannot walk across it. 
10. I will finally be in a country that pronounces my name correctly all the time and spells it correctly!!!
1. I thought before that I knew how to pronounce my last name correctly but it turns out that I didn’t know. I actually have become reluctant in telling people what my last name is because then they automatically know that I am Portuguese and then they usually look at me like why the heck don’t you speak Portuguese! I have even have people tell me that it is a disgrace and horrible that I don’t know Portuguese. Oh well! You can’t please them all and atleast I am trying to learn the language!

Top 10 Fears:

1. Doing youth ministry full time cross culturally
1. I think the more fearful and stressful thing is starting a youth ministry from nothing!  If I had known this before then that would have been here. Trying to help start something when I don’t even really have a grasp of the language is the most difficult thing to do. Even with these difficulties, I have been given different opportunities to speak with and help out youth in Portugal, which was super exciting for me.
2. Not fully knowing the language.
1. Legitimate fear! When you get stuck in some random village and you don’t have enough money to get back on the bus.....that is the moment that you feel extremely abandoned and alone mainly because you can’t communicate your problem. In the States if you get lost, and are a girl, then you are able to go up to anybody and ask for help because the majority of the time the person will understand you. The good thing in getting lost and not knowing the language is that you quickly learn the words you need to know like, “Passa por Vialonga?”
3. Living in a house with a pet snake or spider
1. God must really like me because I haven’t even seen any snakes anywhere and I have maybe seen two spiders that were way to small to actually do anything! No giant spiders here that like to jump on your back and hold on for dear life as you are screaming and freaking out!
4. Cultural differneces
1. The other day I was getting a loaf of bread from the bakery and I wanted it sliced but I didn’t know the word for cut, cortado, so instead I stuck out my left hand flat and took my right hand perpendicular and made an up and down cutting motion....unfortunately in Portuguese culture this means you are going to get a whooping....so basically I was telling the guy I want some bread and I am going to give you a whooping....my bad!
5. Not speaking up when I need to....
1. Yep....failed at this one! I am 100% a non confrontational person....unless I am pushed way to far and then I am very vocal about my discomforts or if you are not the person that is bothering me. 
6. Not being able to pronounce my own last name
1. More importantly not being able to speak the language that my last name and heritage is from!
7. Nobody getting my humor.....
1. I really don’t think anybody has really fully seen the real Diane, I mean the crazy, wild, and loves to laugh Diane. They might have seen momentary laps but almost all of the time they get the very quite and reserved Diane that many of you either have not seen or don’t remember seeing.
8. Being overseas on my own and not really knowing anybody that well
1. This has been a real difficulty for me because I am the type of person that functions with a very close group of friends that know me and can call me out on anything and to not have that close relationship except for an occasional skype conversation has been really depressing for me. It has also showed me that I really want to be married before I come back to Portugal.

My personal ad would look something like:

Single 25 yr old female missionary looking for older and taller missionary man who has a heart for Portugal and youth. Portuguese citizenship is a bonus!

I want to be married so that I know that I will have that close relationship that I so strongly miss. Now, I know that marriage is not always a beautiful thing but really no relationship is always a beautiful thing but it comes down to what you do during those times that can bring you closer or tear you apart. I want a partner in ministry that I can rely on and can bounce ideas off of. Also, if I marry a Portuguese man then I don’t have to worry about visas and all that annoying stuff! 

1. Not having netflix/not being able to take all of my movies
1. I love movies! I often watch a movie when I need to relax or need alone time. Unfortunately I brought about 10 movies with me and only two movies were movies that I actually watch frequently. I have a large movie collection of about 300, so to be cut back to only 10 movies was really super duper difficult for me!
2. My living situation
1. This is one area that I probably didn’t need to worry about at all! I LOVE living with my avó!!!! The other night she noticed that I was kind of cold so she took the heater and fully pointed it at me so she wasn’t getting any heat...I quickly changed it so we could both get heat. She has also surprised me and made me lunch or dinner. She makes sure that I watch Dr. Oz with her almost every night! Seriously, I have the most amazing avó ever!!! I am for sure going to miss her so much when I leave Portugal!

No Proposal

Back in 2006, I went with Len Renfer and a group of about 25 other people to India. We were up in the northeast corner, Nagaland, in a village that I am sure has a name but I can’t remember it. While there we did medical and children outreaches in surrounding villages and at the place we were staying we had a college age conference. On one day during the conference about half of the team took a hike up a mountain to visit a church plant and also do some medical outreach but I decided to stay back and ended up helping with the conference. After lunch the university students would usually play some sort of game or activity but since Joe, who was in charge of this time, had gone on the hike they asked me if I would share my testimony and then have a Q&A time. I of course said yes and so that afternoon I shared my testimony with a bunch of Indian students who I am not completely understood what I was saying. During the Q&A time students were allowed to write out their questions on a piece of paper and hand them in. I started out with getting really good questions like, “What is it like being a Christian in the States?” and, “What is it like being the only Christian in your family?” but then......I got a couple of questions that I really didn’t want to answer but was told I needed to by the Kim Renfer, they were, “ If God gave you a Nepali man as your life partner, would you be ok with that?” and then a few questions after that I got, “How are you attracted to guys?”  I answered these questions in the best most sweetest way I could possibly think of... “If that is what God has for me then I am ok with that but I am not looking for a husband right now,” and, “Most importantly the guy would need to be a Christian.” So, for the rest of the time there all the girls on the team were trying to figure out who this mystery guy was...and then we found out...atleast we think it was him because he was the only guy to ask to take a picture with just me while I was standing with the group of other American girls. 

Last week while I was in Porto I was asked to share my testimony with the youth and of course said yes. Now, you need to remember that youth in Portugal is a very broad term, you can be 50 and still considered a youth if you are single. You also need to remember that even though you are asked to do something sometimes it is forgotten and you end up not doing what you were requested to do. So, when I started preparing for my testimony I had this horrible feeling that at the very last minute I was not going to be speaking to the youth and I had suffered through the anxiety of preparing to speak for nothing, luckily it did happen. The youth event was a new tradition that they were starting where they would have a Thanksgiving meal, except no turkey because they took to long to cook, but instead chicken. Many of the youth at this church were very talkative and very welcoming and were willing to speak English with me. The pastor’s two sons that I met were also very amazing boys. The oldest of the two actually got the grand opportunity of translating for me as I spoke. Now I don’t know how many of you have spoke while being translated but it is super duper difficult. You can only say one maybe two sentences at a time before you have to stop to allow the person to speak the translated version. All the pauses also give you just the right amount of time to forget your train of thought or your next point, so notes are heavily needed. The talk ended up going really well even though after every time João translated something I would look at him and say, “Sim” and then would wait for him to say something more and he would look at me to continue. The leader said that she enjoyed my talk and thought that I brought a good message to the youth about us depending on God because he knows who we are and what we are to become. I might have taken the verse and the idea from one of my professors at Multnomah but isn’t that why they are teaching us?

 Anyways, the night was really awesome and just helped me continue in my falling in love of the area. The only thing I didn’t like about the area was the 5 degree weather, ok so that is in celsius but it is only 5 degrees away from freezing! Plus, I didn’t bring any cold weather clothes to Portugal so I only have two sweaters to wear and that is only because I have bought them since the temperature has dropped. It really sucks because I have warm coats and tons of cute sweaters but since I was told that the weather would be warm and beautiful I didn’t pack any of them! Oh well! Sad/happy news....I have less then two weeks left in Portugal!

Peace out!